How A Nursery Song Inspires Mindful Movement

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When I was a little kid there was a song that we sang in nursery school that makes me think of mindful movement. It went like this: “Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes. Head shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes. With your eyes and ears and mouth and nose. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!”

Because we think A LOT about the head, a lot about the shoulders, a lot about the knees and depending on the person a lot about the toes, it is the perfect song for Alexander Technique Teachers or anyone who practices the Alexander Technique. (If you don’t know about the Alexander Technique it is a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move and live better.)

In fact, we think a lot about the whole body and how it moves through space. And if that isn’t enough we also think about the mind. In fact, we see absolutely no separation between the mind and the body. There is only mind/body unity so when you affect the body you affect the mind and when you affect the mind you affect the body!

I think that most of us don’t have really constructive ways to think about ourselves. Instead, if we think about ourselves at all, we think in very de-constructive, judgemental ways such as “am I too fat, am I too thin, am I too tall, am I too short etc.”

OUCH!This is not constructive thinking! This is not mindful movement.

The way that you think about yourself can change the way that you move, think, and react.

You can improve the way that you move by just thinking about yourself in a new and improved way. This is real mindfulness this is mindful movement.

So let’s learn new and constructive ways to think about yourself and practice mindful movement.

Sign up for my video course here!

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes!

  • Heads up! Your head matters! Here is some knowledge. Your head rests on top of your spine but do you know the place where the head articulates with the spine? If you take your index finger and place it on the flap in front of your ears and place your thumb just behind your earlobe you can locate the place of articulation very deep in the skull. This is your atlanto-occipital joint. This is important because the way the head articulates with the spine determines how well you function. So paying attention to this articulation will improve the way that you move.
  • “Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy” sang John Denver and so it should, but the shoulders have so much to bear. How many of you out there have aching shoulders and bad necks? My experience has been that most people misunderstand how the shoulder moves. They think that the point of articulation is closer to the center of the upper chest otherwise known as your pecs. Often this is the case with someone with rounded shoulders. Instead, think of the shoulders’ movement originating much further out. If you take your finger and trace the top of your shoulder all the way to the top of the arm you will come to the juncture of the shoulder and the arm.  This is where the arm moves best. Moving the arm in this way opens up the chest and prevents the sloping forward of the shoulders.
  • Are knees important too? You bet! Bending at your ankles knees and hips is critical for agility and balance. As we age we tend not to move through these joints. Squats and lunges are a great way to reintroduce this mobility. To do a squat stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Think of your head resting on top of the spine and think of letting go of tension in your neck, tongue, and jaw. Now bend at your ankles knees and hips as if you were to sit in a chair in an exaggerated way. Then stand up. Make this easy you do not have to muscle through this for it to be effective. Repeat several times. The better you get the lower you can go but ease into it. To do a lunge stand with your feet shoulder width apart then just step forward with one foot and then return to standing. Again repeat several times.
  • Are you on your toes? Many people walk inefficiently with their toes up in the air. You definitely do this if you find that you are wearing a hole in the top of your socks, slippers or sneakers. When we walk well our weight strikes near the middle part of the heel, crosses the arch of the foot and continues to our big toe. The big toe has two jobs; it helps balance you and it propels you forward. So when you walk think of walking through the big toe. Now don’t overdo this. Allow it to happen. Allow your arms to swing. Think opposite arm to opposite leg!
  • And last but not least. Stop trying- bringing too much effort to any given task tightens and shortens muscles and makes you less agile and flexible. Instead of trying harder to move tell yourself that you are going to allow yourself to perform a task. This is a mindset change. How you think about movement will actually change how you move. Your movement should be light, free and joyful.

How You Move Matters! You can learn how to move better with my Amazon bestselling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence.  My book is illustrated with 40 videos that you access with your iPad or smartphone! You can purchase it here.

My name is Mary Derbyshire. I am a fitness and movement coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique, a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves! Let me know what you think or ask a question! I love to hear from my readers! Feel free to post in the comments section below.

4 Steps to Sleep Better

I think that we’ve all been there. You can’t sleep! Dreaded insomnia!

A worrisome thought, a stressful day, a difficult period of time in your life and you can’t sleep. Maybe you can’t fall asleep, maybe you wake up at 1 am and can’t get back to sleep, maybe you open your eyes at 4 am and that’s it you are up for the rest of the day or perhaps you sleep a full 8 hours only to wake up still feeling exhausted.

I understand I have been there.

The results of sleeplessness are significant and detrimental. They include risks of developing obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, increased anxiety and mental stress and of course the increased risk of driving a car and accidents.

In short, it is much better for your health and sanity when you get 7- 8 hours of shut-eye every single night!

  • Sleep helps boost your immune system and helps ward off the flu or cold.
  • Sleep improves your memory. Research demonstrates that sleeping after learning can improve memory retention.
  • Sleep can reduce anxiety and mental stress.
  • Sleep improves coordination.
  • A good night’s sleep makes you feel great.

So how do you improve your sleep?

  1. First and foremost you need to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day and this includes weekends. Did you know that you have an inner clock that determines when you feel energized and when you feel sleepy? For instance, perhaps you have noticed that at certain times every day you may feel more energized or less so. This is due to your internal clock called your circadian rhythm. By sticking to a consistent bedtime and rising schedule you will regulate this clock and increase the likelihood of better sleep!
  2. Exercise regularly. I know you have heard it a million times before but people who exercise regularly fall asleep faster and experience a deeper more restful sleep. What do I mean by exercise? Walk at least 30 minutes 5x’s a week. If walking 30 minutes is too challenging at first do what you can and work up to it!
  3. Make your bedroom a sanctuary. Get the TV out of the bedroom. Make your bed cozy and comfy. Use soft lighting. Try a sound machine to stifle disturbing noises. I use this one here is a link to AmazonListen to quiet music. It may sound crazy but I like to listen to soundtracks of distant thunderstorms! Avoid caffeine. Instead, drink herbal teas such as my favorite Celestial Seasoning’s Sleepy Time.
  4. De-stress before you close your eyes. I am going to teach you a very simple breathing practice that will calm you, reduce stress and anxiety and prepare you for a restful night of blissful sleep. I call it Exhale and Wait to Breathe. It is based on breathing practices developed by FM Alexander, the creator of the Alexander Technique. I have created a short instructional video that you can access below. Breathe like this 3-5X’s before crawling under the covers and closing your eyes.

My name is Mary Derbyshire. I am a fitness and movement coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique, a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves. You can get my Amazon best-selling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here.

This post includes affiliate links to products that I use and reccomend.

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How To Lessen Anxiety With Mindfulness

Being with my horse is another way to lessen anxiety.
Me in my happy place with my pony Tonka.

Let’s talk about anxiety.

Do you get anxious from time to time?

I do. A lot.

This may come as a surprise to some, but I am an anxious person. Perhaps that is why I teach people how to move better and feel better. Have you ever heard the expression “You teach best what you most need to learn”?

I needed to learn how to be less stressed and anxious.

I have been teaching movement, fitness, and the Alexander Technique for many years. For those of you who are not familiar with the Alexander Technique, it is a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move and think better. Practicing the Alexander Technique is an exercise in mindfulness.

But let’s get back to anxiety.

You see people come to me to resolve anxiety issues. How could I be an anxious person if I truly practiced what I preached?

Well, the answer is simple.

Life is hard and at times life is incredibly hard for all of us.

I have discovered though, that the tools I have learned through the Alexander Technique have definitely made my life easier, less stressful, and thus less anxious.

I want to teach you these practices.

Here are three things that I teach my students to help them cultivate mindfulness and cope with anxiety. I have created three videos to make the instruction easier.

De-Stress With The AT Lie Down

  • The first video teaches the AT Lie-Down. Practicing the AT Lie Down once or twice a day for 15-20 minutes can be life-changing. Finding a quiet spot in your home or office and lying down in this way not only does wonders for your back, neck or whatever ails you but it also provides you with the opportunity to really stop and let go of emotional, psychological and physical tension. At first, if you cannot last the full ten-fifteen minutes, and most people can’t, then start off a few minutes at a time and increase the time incrementally. You may listen to quiet music if you like, but I prefer to practice in silence. There are many health benefits to being silent for extended periods of time. Silence can improve memory, regenerate brain cells, reduce stress, and increase creativity. You can click here for the video.

Reduce Anxiety With Mindful Breathing

  • The second video teaches you a very powerful way to calm down through breath. I call it Exhale and Wait to Breathe. Have you noticed that when you are stressed and anxious that your breathing becomes more shallow? For many of us, our voices go up a notch! Exhale and Wait to Breathe is the answer to that problem and many others. When we consciously attend to our breathing we can redirect our moods in a very powerful way. A breathing practice will improve your energy level, slow your heart rate and reduce anxiety. I always end my Alexander Technique sessions with this breathing.  Click here for the Exhale and Wait to Breathe video.

A Little Movement Refreshes

  • The third video is titled A Healthy Back is a Supple Back. This short practice revitalizes you in a couple of minutes. Sometimes just moving a little can make you feel much better and less pressed. This is an excellent movement series that is especially good if you have been sitting in front of your computer for a while. A mini-break if you will to de-stress and feel better. Click here for the video.

Here is another blog I wrote about how the Alexander Technique changed my life. Click here for the post.

My name is Mary Derbyshire. I am a fitness and movement coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique, a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves. You can get my Amazon best-selling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here.

My interactive book is jam-packed with instructional videos that you can easily access with a smartphone or with a Kindle, iPad or computer.

So I’ve just given you some good information about easy practices that can help you address anxiety. I have also created a course that teaches you how to sit better. If you would like some more instruction on how to sit better you can sign up for my FREE video course Sitting for Success here.

If you would like to learn more ways to improve mobility and get out of pain sign up for my course 5 Ways to Heal Back Pain here 

Please feel free to ask me questions.  I am passionate about teaching you how to move and live better. Moving well is a critical component of aging well.

XO Mary

 

This post may contain affiliate links. 

Do You Have Painful Posture?

This post may contain affiliate links. Everything I refer to I have created myself and can attest to its quality.

Do you have painful posture?

Or, in other words, is your posture causing you pain?

No, seriously. Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps it is not your back hurting you, but rather you hurting your back?

Perhaps this is you. You go to your doctor and complain of back or neck or even jaw pain. Your doctor says, “Let’s get some imaging to see what is causing the pain.”

You might have an MRI or maybe an x-ray but nothing can be identified as the source of your pain.

Maybe your Dr. will send you off to physical therapy and that might or might not help or maybe your Dr. prescribes some pain medication that just may have undesirable side effects.

Either way, things may improve or not.

But, maybe there is another way to address painful posture!

Very often it is HOW you move that is causing the pain. By learning HOW TO MOVE BETTER, you can greatly reduce or eliminate the pain.

I want you to think about how you move.

I bet it is safe to say that you do not move like you did when you were a child.

Think about how a small child moves; easily and effortlessly. Imagine her in your mind’s eye with her long upright back and her head beautifully poised on top of her spine.

Now, look at yourself in a mirror. Notice how you sit or stand. Observe how your head is in relationship to your spine. Is it poised beautifully on top of your spine?

How your head relates to your spine impacts how well you move. This is really important!

You can learn how to move better.

I have created this free short video course that gives you some helpful tips on how to sit better called Sitting for Success. You can click here to sign up.

 

Click here to access course!

Why do I start with sitting? Well, sitting is part of how you move. How you sit has a big influence on how you stand, walk or even run.

In fact, the habits that you have developed around your sitting are probably the habits that you also bring to every other way that you move.

Don’t let painful posture ruin your life. Sign up for my free course here.

And while you are at it download my free PDF on 7 Ways to Turn Back the Clock. This helpful guide gives you some important yet simple tips that you can apply to help you move more easily with less muscular stress and pain. You can find the sign up just to the right of this article.

You can also purchase my Amazon bestseller Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here.

 

My name is Mary Derbyshire. I am a movement and fitness coach and Alexander Technique teacher. I teach people how to move better and to move more. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves!

 

 

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Stop Doing These 5 Things To End Back Pain

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Back pain can be debilitating! If you have back pain and neck pain you are not alone. According to the Mayo Clinic, back pain is the 3rd top reason people see their doctor.

Doctors at the University of North Carolina state that “Low back pain is the second most common cause of disability in the United States and a common reason for missing work.”

We all know that back pain is incredibly painful and can disrupt life in immeasurable ways.

Many of the treatments for back pain, whether invasive or non-invasive, may not be successful and can have lasting side effects.

Perhaps a new approach is needed.

Perhaps we need to shift the paradigm.

Perhaps it is not your back hurting you but rather you hurting your back.

Think about this. How you sit, how you stand, how you move could be creating unnecessary muscular tension. Unnecessary muscular tension can cause pain.

So the answer is to address how you move and reduce the amount of muscular tension you use while moving.

Would you agree that you don’t move like you did when you were a child?

Think about how a child moves. Effortlessly. A young child runs, jumps, hops, skips and tumbles all day long and never complains about a bad back, neck or knee.

Think about how they sit and stand. Their heads are beautifully poised on top of their spines.

Look at this adorable girl. See how her head and spine relate in a unified and lengthening way.

Compare her to this young man. Notice how his head and spine are compressed and that his back is not straight. He is slouching and his head is not poised on top of his spine.

This was FM Alexander’s observation way back in 1890: the way your head relates to your spine determines how well you function.

Better functioning means better movement. Better movement means less muscular tension. Less muscular tension means less pain.

5 Tips On What NOT To To To End The Cycle Of Back And Neck Pain.

1.Don’t try too hard! Trying hard just gets in your way. Trying brings about more muscular tension.  Stop trying and start allowing. Just tell yourself that you are going to allow yourself to be right here and right now. Take a moment to let this sink in. Allow yourself to be where you are right now. What is that like?

2.Don’t slouch. When sitting, do you sit on your sitz bones? In order to sit up with any degree of ease, one needs to be sitting on the sitz bones. Do this: find a hard chair. A kitchen or dining room chair would be perfect. Sit on the chair and slide your hands palm up under your bum. Do you feel the boney bits? These are your sitz bones – otherwise known as your ischial tuberosities. Now slide your hands out. See how much better you are sitting? Many people sit back from their sitz bones and this forces them to slouch. So you see all the while your mother should have been telling you to sit on your sitz bones to improve your posture and not telling you to sit up straight.

3.Don’t clench your jaw, tongue, and neck.The primary principle in the Alexander Technique is that the relationship of your head and neck dictates how well you function and move. When you clench your jaw and tighten your tongue and neck you are interfering with this relationship and thus hurting your back. So tell yourself not to clench your jaw. Instead, tell yourself to soften your neck and tongue. See if this changes how you move.

4.Don’t try to sit up straight. If a parent or teacher ever told you so sit up straight you most probably very quickly felt pain, tension, and stiffness. You can’t try to sit up straight with any comfort or ease. Instead, pay attention to your head on top of your spine. Then pay attention to your sitz bones on the chair. Allow your spine to lengthen away from your pelvis towards your head. Remember don’t try! Allow instead!

5.Don’t go-go-go! Instead, stop and lie down. I would like to teach you a very simple practice that has a profound effect on how we move. It is called the Alexander Technique Lie Down. Lying down in this way resets you. It is kind of like rebooting your computer. We live in a go-go world and don’t pay much attention to stopping. Stopping is very important and lying down gives you the opportunity to stop and reorganize. It is preferable if you do this on the floor with carpeting or a yoga mat. If you cannot get down to the floor, no worries. You can do this in your bed but be sure to replace the pillows with books. Here is the sequence.

The Alexander Technique Lie Down For Back Pain and Neck Pain and Healthy Living

  1. Find a spot on the floor with carpeting or a rug. Place a pile of paperback books on the floor. This is where you will place your head.
  2. Sit on the floor with your back to the books. Lower your chin to your chest and roll down so that your head rests on the books. You should not have so many books that you tuck your chin, nor have too few books so that your head falls back onto the books. The book height is not a science. It may change throughout your lie down and it may change from lie down to lie down.
  3. Place your hands on your ribs. Bend your legs so that your feet are flat on the ground and your knees are pointing up to the ceiling.
  4. Lie this way for 15-20 minutes once or twice a day. If you cannot manage that length of time start with 5 minutes and build up.
  5. Think about allowing your head to release onto the books.
  6. Think about allowing your back to release onto the floor. This includes your upper back, your shoulders, your ribs, and your lower back. If you feel tightness in your lower back you can do a pelvic tilt.
  7. To get up off the floor, roll over into a fetal position and then get onto your feet.

I hope that you have found this useful. Let go of preconceived ideas about aging and free yourself up for easy movement.

Here is a link to an instructional video I made. Click here

So I’ve just given you a lot of information on what not to do to help your back pain. If you sit better, stand better and walk better you will move better. Better moving means less pain increased mobility and confidence. Better mobility is critical to living well. If you would like some more instruction on how to sit better you can sign up for my FREE video course Sitting for Success here.

If you would like to learn more ways to improve mobility and get out of pain sign up for my course 5 Ways to Heal Back Pain here.

Or you can get my Amazon bestselling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here.

 

My name is Mary Derbyshire. I am a fitness and movement coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique, a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves. You can get my Amazon best-selling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here.

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Out In The Day

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Why am I posting this video and what does a cold, bleak, stormy day at the beach have to do with feeling better and less stressed?

I think that it is fair to say that we all feel better when we get outdoors. A walk on the beach, or in the park, or even down the sidewalk changes your mood and boosts your spirit.

But for us in the Northeast of the United States when December sets in and the days become long and dark and the wind can howl or the rain and snow can fall getting yourself outside can take heroic strength.

Right? Just watch the video again. I really had to talk myself into going outside that day. But I am so happy I did! It was exhilarating. I felt whole and free.

The wind howled and the waves crashed. It was beautiful.

Getting outside and going for a walk even a short one to the mailbox will change your mood. Getting outside and walking calms you down and lifts you up especially on a cold dark winter’s day.

Year’s ago when I lived in Dublin, Ireland I had a friend and colleague Frank Kennedy who also taught the Alexander Technique. He was an avid hill walker and would walk the hills around Dublin in the dreariest of days. As you probably know Ireland can be pretty rainy and cold. Frank used to say that you had to get “out in the day.”

I love that expression “”out in the day.”

No matter what the weather may be. Rain or snow, wind or cold you have to tell yourself to get out in the day. This is a sure way to build more calm and quiet into your life.

Thank you for reading my post. I have created a FREE short video course called Sitting for Success you can get it here and feel free to share it with friends. My holiday gift to you : https://app.ruzuku.com/courses/25548/about

How to Change Your Trajectory

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Do you want to hear a surprising truth?   

You don’t have to take a 180-degree turn to make a change in your life. To change all you need to do is move one degree away from where you are right now and you will be on a new trajectory.

This is important. Many people think that change has to be radical like a total make-over, a do-over, a transformation from a cocoon to a butterfly.

It is hard to change radically. Humans like consistency and change needs to be subtle or else it is too overwhelming.

We live in a culture that places enormous value on extremes and because of this often times the complex is heralded and the subtle is overlooked or even dismissed.

For instance, you may think that the only way to get rid of back or neck pain is with strong medicine, a shot of cortisone or surgery. All of these options are extreme.

There are alternative ways that are more subtle and very effective.

Perhaps just changing the way that you sit, stand and walk could lessen or eliminate your pain and change your life for the better.

As an Alexander Technique teacher, this is what I do. In very subtle ways I teach you how to change the way that you move and even the way that you think.

Here is a testimonial from Rosemary who had watched a short video I had made about the importance of releasing unnecessary muscular tension in her body.

I often tell people to think about not clenching their tongue and jaw.

Clenching your tongue and jaw is harmful to the head/neck/spine relationship and this compromises the way that you move and live.

Mary, I just wanted to let you know how much better I am sleeping since watching your video a month ago.

You said to unclench your teeth. I didn’t even know I was doing that until you pointed it out.

Now, as I am dozing off, I tell myself “relax your jaw” and poof off to sleep! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

So, for Rosemary, here was a simple and subtle solution to address a common problem. Releasing the jaw to calm down so as to be able to easily fall asleep.

This is how the Alexander Technique works. An Alexander Technique teacher gives you cues either with verbal instruction or with their hands to

teach you how to release unnecessary muscular tension and to redirect yourself through space.

This excessive muscular tension interferes with the way that you use yourself or in other words the way that you move and even think.

As a result with less clenched muscles, you move more freely, with greater ease and very often with less or no pain.

Why don’t you give it a try!

There are many ways to study and learn with me. I teach privately in Little Compton, RI. Or you can purchase my Amazon bestselling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here, Or you can sign up for my FREE video course Sitting for Success here https://app.ruzuku.com/courses/25548/about

Get in touch! I would love to hear from you! You can send me an email at maryderby1@gmail.com

Photo: Unsplash, Sean Stratton

Between a Rock and a Hard Place?

Are you stuck between a rock and hard place?

Check out this photograph!

These are actual rocks at our nearby beach!

Talk about being “between a rock and a hard place!”

Whenever I walk the beach and come upon these stones I always ask myself “How did that little rock end up in the position to be supporting that big rock?”

Perhaps these rocks represent you?

Do you ever ask yourself “How did I get into this situation and how can I get out of it?”

If pain and stiffness are putting you in between a rock and a hard place, I may have a solution.

The Alexander Technique is very beneficial for people who experience pain.

Often times it is the way that you move that is causing the pain. When you learn how to move well the pain and stiffness go away and you feel better!

Most people believe that pain and stiffness are an inevitable reality of aging. This belief is false. You can move easily into your senior years. The Alexander Technique is a skill that you can learn, that will teach you how to move better. I can teach you that skill!

The bonus is that the Alexander Technique is fun and really quite easy to learn.

There are several ways you can learn about the Alexander Technique. You can buy my book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here: http://amzn.to/2slUDAx You can sign up for my 4-week video course that begins on Tuesday, July 5th, 2017 here: https://mderbyshire.com/agility-at-any-age-video-course/   Or you can study with me in person, here is a link to my calendar: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=12624320  

If you would like to contact me here is my email address maryderby1@gmail.com

It’s time to get out from under your rock!

Free Yourself From Pain!

       Be Sure To Watch The Video!

 

Are you in pain?     

Have you ever thought that it is HOW you do things that may bring about your pain and stiffness?

Perhaps it is the WAY that you move that is the problem. We live in a go-go and get-it-done world. We have been taught to try harder, to bear down and get the job done. Nose to the grindstone and all that.

Maybe that needs to change. Maybe there is a better way.

In this short video, Carolyn shares what she has learned from working with me.

You too can learn a different way to move, a different way to exercise, a different way to be! Imagine being free from pain, free from struggle, and free from feeling never enough.

 

 

Sign up for my video course here!

In my Amazon bestselling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence I challenge the fitness culture of “no pain, no gain.” I explore the preconceived ideas of what it means to get older. Through my instructional videos, I offer solutions to improving agility and balance.Yes, you read that right! A book with videos that you can access with your smartphone, iPad, or computer! You can learn a new way of being and bring more agility, balance, confidence and ultimately joy in your life. You can get your copy here.

                                         

My name is Mary Derbyshire. I am a fitness and movement coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique, a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves! Let me know what you think or ask a question! I love to hear from my readers! Feel free to post in the comments section below.

 

What Is Stopping You?

“Certainty is a cruel mindset”

      Ellen Langer, Counterclockwise      

           

 

Want to know what really gets in the way of aging gracefully?

Preconceived ideas. 

Let me give you an example.

The other day a woman came to me for a session. She is in her 80’s and has been working with me for a while. She has some balance issues due to arthritis but all things considered she does incredibly well.

However this week she came in with a very painful hip and was having trouble sitting, standing and walking.

When she got to the chair and sat down she was feeling so defeated that she felt like she could not get up from the chair. In fact, she tried to stand but could not.

She believed that it was her age that was preventing her from getting out of the chair and that perhaps she would never be able to get up unassisted again.

I knew that it was her self-limiting belief that was preventing her from standing and not her ability nor her age.

I could feel the defeat and frustration build in her to the point of tears. She was so focused on her hip and her failure to stand up that indeed she could not get out of the chair.

So I changed her focus. I asked her to sing a song with me. We started singing “Hello Dolly.” And you know what? She got out of the chair like a 10-year-old. She popped in and out of the chair 3 or 4 more times.

Because she was moving better she no longer had the pain in her hip. We walked around the room. At this point, we had sung snippets of a half dozen songs and she was laughing.

We had interrupted her self-limiting preconceived idea that her hip was failing her and that she would never be able to sit and stand easily again.

Self-limiting preconceived ideas and beliefs– we all have them.

They influence our expectations of ourselves and of others but most often, these preconceptions are self-limiting beliefs.

More often than not, our expectations of ourselves are limiting, not encouraging.

They are based on old tapes that are going around and around in your head. Preconceived ideas are not based on what is actually taking place here and now.

They are based on the past and are not relevant for today.

These self-limiting beliefs become a mindset and this mindset eventually becomes a reality.

I call this place of limiting self-belief the Rat Hole.

The Rat Hole becomes a vicious circle.

Round and round you go focusing and obsessing about your limitations and what you can’t do.

You become disengaged from your active life and retreat to a place of discouragement and self -doubt.

And then you start to believe in the stereotypes about aging and what it means to get older. You invest yourself in these stereotypes and cannot imagine yourself any other way.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

You do not have to do a 180-degree turn to change. All you have to do is shift your position or attitude a few degrees to set off on a different course.

What are your preconceived ideas about aging that could be limiting you?

Here are some that I have heard:

  1. Pain and stiffness are an integral part of getting older.

This is false. Pain and stiffness are often the results of how you do what you do. Pain and stiffness are not an inevitable part of getting older. If sitting is painful for you then chances are it is the way that you are sitting that is causing the pain. You can learn how to sit differently. In my next video “Slouch No More” you will learn simple ways to improve your sitting.

  1. I am too old to change the way I do things.

This is false. Change occurs by bringing attention or mindfulness to your activities. We can learn at any age. You are never too old to change.

  1. My balance will inevitably become compromised.

Ok, so it is true that your balance decreases as you age but by challenging your sense of balance that decline can be reversed and drastically improved. There are some very simple ways that you can challenge and improve your balance. 

  1. I’m a failure. I try hard to do X but I can’t do it no matter how hard I try.

Guess what: it’s not you. It is the trying that is getting in your way. Don’t try. Stop trying. Think of allowing yourself to do the activity. To allow is a much more constructive way to approach a task.

  1. I’m in pain now and thus I will never be able to go back to doing the things I love the most. My pain has put me in a place of inevitable decline.

The truth is that many of the aches and pains that we experience are caused by how we do things. You can learn how to move with less pain and stiffness. Pain and stiffness do not have to be an inevitable downward spiral. You can regain those activities that you thought you would never be able to do again.

You can purchase my Amazon Bestselling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here. 

Plus I would LOVE to hear from you!

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Book your session with me today and learn how to move with better balance, agility, and ease!

My name is Mary Derbyshire and I am a movement and fitness coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique a mindfulness practice that teaches you HOW to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves. I am passionate about teaching how to move and to keep them moving!