Category: Uncategorized

Free Yourself From Pain!

Posted on by Mary Derbyshire

       Be Sure To Watch The Video!

 

Are you in pain?     

Have you ever thought that it is HOW you do things that may bring about your pain and stiffness?

Perhaps it is the WAY that you move that is the problem. We live in a go-go and get-it-done world. We have been taught to try harder, to bear down and get the job done. Nose to the grindstone and all that.

Maybe that needs to change. Maybe there is a better way.

In this short video, Carolyn shares what she has learned from working with me.

You too can learn a different way to move, a different way to exercise, a different way to be! Imagine being free from pain, free from struggle, and free from feeling never enough.

 

 

Sign up for my video course here!

In my Amazon bestselling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence I challenge the fitness culture of “no pain, no gain.” I explore the preconceived ideas of what it means to get older. Through my instructional videos, I offer solutions to improving agility and balance.Yes, you read that right! A book with videos that you can access with your smartphone, iPad, or computer! You can learn a new way of being and bring more agility, balance, confidence and ultimately joy in your life. You can get your copy here.

                                         

My name is Mary Derbyshire. I am a fitness and movement coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique, a mindfulness-based practice that teaches you how to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves! Let me know what you think or ask a question! I love to hear from my readers! Feel free to post in the comments section below.

 

3 Easy Steps to Change Your Habits and Change Your Life

Posted on by Mary Derbyshire
Photo Massimo Mancini
Photo Massimo Mancini

Habits! You have habits. I have habits. We all have habits.

We have good habits such as looking both ways before we cross the street. We have bad habits such as gritting our teeth.

Some are good. Some are bad. Most we aren’t even aware of.

For instance when you sit in a chair do you cross your legs? And if you cross your legs do you cross with your left leg or your right leg? When you sit down do you habitually cross your legs?

The thing is that we don’t have any idea what our habits are. Perhaps you see a photograph of your self and you think “Wow do I really stand like that” or you see your reflection in a mirror or a window and you say “Yikes is that me? Could my posture really be so bad?”

But habit is more than if you tilt your head to the left when you laugh or slouch when you sit. Habit is most everything about you; your energy, your intention, your timing, your sense of humor, how you sit, how you stand, how you walk how you move, how you think, how you react…

Habits are hard wired into your neuromuscular system. We do them automatically and habitually.

They resonate on a subconscious level and because they exist below our consciousness they are hard to identify and hard to change.

So then how do we change habit? Is it even possible?

Yes, it is possible.

How do we change?

We stop.

We stop what we are doing.

Stopping gives us the opportunity to notice the habit.

Stopping gives us the space to decide what comes next.

Maybe we decide to still cross our legs? Or perhaps we decide to do something differently.

We need to stop, really stop.

By stopping I mean let go of our intention and all the muscular tension that surrounds it.

Stop and wait and let go of muscular tension. Wait. Really wait and let your self be here and now and still.

Give yourself the permission to really, really stop.

Notice where you are and allow yourself to be in the present moment.

Now decide when you sit down. Do you choose to cross one leg over the other leg?

Stopping, really, really stopping gives you choice. Now you can choose not to respond habitually. Stopping frees us from habit.

It can be this simple.

Let me know what you think! Does this resonate with you?

What Is Stopping You?

Posted on by Mary Derbyshire

“Certainty is a cruel mindset”

      Ellen Langer, Counterclockwise      

           

 

Want to know what really gets in the way of aging gracefully?

Preconceived ideas. 

Let me give you an example.

The other day a woman came to me for a session. She is in her 80’s and has been working with me for a while. She has some balance issues due to arthritis but all things considered she does incredibly well.

However this week she came in with a very painful hip and was having trouble sitting, standing and walking.

When she got to the chair and sat down she was feeling so defeated that she felt like she could not get up from the chair. In fact, she tried to stand but could not.

She believed that it was her age that was preventing her from getting out of the chair and that perhaps she would never be able to get up unassisted again.

I knew that it was her self-limiting belief that was preventing her from standing and not her ability nor her age.

I could feel the defeat and frustration build in her to the point of tears. She was so focused on her hip and her failure to stand up that indeed she could not get out of the chair.

So I changed her focus. I asked her to sing a song with me. We started singing “Hello Dolly.” And you know what? She got out of the chair like a 10-year-old. She popped in and out of the chair 3 or 4 more times.

Because she was moving better she no longer had the pain in her hip. We walked around the room. At this point, we had sung snippets of a half dozen songs and she was laughing.

We had interrupted her self-limiting preconceived idea that her hip was failing her and that she would never be able to sit and stand easily again.

Self-limiting preconceived ideas and beliefs– we all have them.

They influence our expectations of ourselves and of others but most often, these preconceptions are self-limiting beliefs.

More often than not, our expectations of ourselves are limiting, not encouraging.

They are based on old tapes that are going around and around in your head. Preconceived ideas are not based on what is actually taking place here and now.

They are based on the past and are not relevant for today.

These self-limiting beliefs become a mindset and this mindset eventually becomes a reality.

I call this place of limiting self-belief the Rat Hole.

The Rat Hole becomes a vicious circle.

Round and round you go focusing and obsessing about your limitations and what you can’t do.

You become disengaged from your active life and retreat to a place of discouragement and self -doubt.

And then you start to believe in the stereotypes about aging and what it means to get older. You invest yourself in these stereotypes and cannot imagine yourself any other way.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

You do not have to do a 180-degree turn to change. All you have to do is shift your position or attitude a few degrees to set off on a different course.

What are your preconceived ideas about aging that could be limiting you?

Here are some that I have heard:

  1. Pain and stiffness are an integral part of getting older.

This is false. Pain and stiffness are often the results of how you do what you do. Pain and stiffness are not an inevitable part of getting older. If sitting is painful for you then chances are it is the way that you are sitting that is causing the pain. You can learn how to sit differently. In my next video “Slouch No More” you will learn simple ways to improve your sitting.

  1. I am too old to change the way I do things.

This is false. Change occurs by bringing attention or mindfulness to your activities. We can learn at any age. You are never too old to change.

  1. My balance will inevitably become compromised.

Ok, so it is true that your balance decreases as you age but by challenging your sense of balance that decline can be reversed and drastically improved. There are some very simple ways that you can challenge and improve your balance. 

  1. I’m a failure. I try hard to do X but I can’t do it no matter how hard I try.

Guess what: it’s not you. It is the trying that is getting in your way. Don’t try. Stop trying. Think of allowing yourself to do the activity. To allow is a much more constructive way to approach a task.

  1. I’m in pain now and thus I will never be able to go back to doing the things I love the most. My pain has put me in a place of inevitable decline.

The truth is that many of the aches and pains that we experience are caused by how we do things. You can learn how to move with less pain and stiffness. Pain and stiffness do not have to be an inevitable downward spiral. You can regain those activities that you thought you would never be able to do again.

You can purchase my Amazon Bestselling book Agility at Any Age: Discover the Secret to Balance, Mobility, and Confidence here. 

Plus I would LOVE to hear from you!

Be sure to sign up for my newsletter for more tips on how to get out of the rat hole of self- limiting preconceived ideas…

Book your session with me today and learn how to move with better balance, agility, and ease!

My name is Mary Derbyshire and I am a movement and fitness coach. My methodology is the Alexander Technique a mindfulness practice that teaches you HOW to move better. When you move better you feel better and when you feel better your whole life improves. I am passionate about teaching how to move and to keep them moving!